Meditation Made Simple: Practical Steps for Busy Parents
- Yu Hun Hwang
- Nov 26, 2024
- 5 min read
What is Meditation?
Meditation, as defined by the Cambridge Dictionary, is "the act of giving your attention to only one thing, either as a religious activity or as a way of becoming calm and relaxed." Contrary to popular belief, meditation does not always require a dedicated time and space. It is often easier to focus solely on yourself when you are alone, but realistically, how often can we truly be by ourselves? Living a busy life leaves little time for self-care. Even if you manage to carve out some personal time and space, the question remains, what can you do to genuinely calm and relax your mind?
Modern society bombards us with constant stimulation, making it difficult to know how to unwind when those external distractions are removed. This irony has long puzzled me. Through my journey as an acupuncturist, I have explored ways to help individuals calm their minds and bodies amidst these abundant external stimuli. One realization I’ve had is that completely "emptying" the mind is not feasible; instead, meditation offers tools to centre ourselves and build resilience against stress.
A common misconception about meditation is that it requires isolated, designated time. In truth, the goal of meditation is to foster a sense of calm and composure, even as circumstances around us change. Meditation is as simple as breathing and understanding yourself. I often ask my clients how they manage stress and whether they have tried meditating. Many respond that they haven’t, citing a lack of time. While not mandatory, meditation is a valuable practice for achieving calm and balance.
Life is a continuous pursuit of happiness, which often creates unnecessary stress. This cumulative stress can become difficult to shed. Meditation serves as a means to sharpen our mental acuity and become more adaptable. Even for those who regularly meditate, the practice is a journey, not a destination. It is an ongoing process to help the mind and body navigate the challenges of modern life.
The First Step to Meditation
The foundation of meditation lies in breathing. When a child throws a tantrum or someone is overcome with fear, the first instinct is to steady the breath. This is because maintaining a consistent heart rate is key to staying calm, and heart rate is strongly correlated with breathing.
Although some research suggests that this relationship is not as direct in females, breathing and heart rate are generally linked. Techniques such as the 4-7-8 breathing method, which involves inhaling for four seconds, holding the breath for seven seconds, and exhaling for eight seconds, exemplify this connection. Other methods include deep breathing and diaphragmatic breathing, each offering unique benefits.
These techniques primarily focus on breath control because of its influence on cardiac function. However, to truly relax, we must extend our awareness beyond just the act of breathing.
A Personalized Breathing Technique
As an acupuncturist, I have developed a breathing technique that I often teach my clients. If you are new to this practice, begin by lying flat on a surface where you feel fully supported. This removes the need to focus on holding your body upright and allows you to direct your attention inward.
Find a Comfortable Position: Lie flat on a supportive surface.
Start Breathing: Inhale and exhale slowly, directing your focus to your breath.
Adjust Gradually: If your heart races, or you feel suffocated, slightly increase your breathing rate to find a comfortable rhythm.
Slow Down Progressively: Gradually slow your breathing while observing how your body moves. Identify areas of tension or stiffness and consciously relax them.
In Oriental medicine, slow, deliberate breathing has long been associated with longevity. Ancient practitioners believed that frequent, shallow breaths depleted the body’s internal energy, while slow, deep breaths conserved it. They likened this process to a fire. Providing oxygen quickly makes the fire burn brightly but exhausts its fuel faster. Similarly, reducing the breath's intensity was thought to preserve vitality.
Once you become comfortable with this breathing technique, it can be seamlessly integrated into daily life. Adjust your breathing to suit the circumstances, but whenever possible, aim for long and full breaths to foster relaxation.
From Breathing to Meditation
To connect breathing with meditation, it is important to first understand the relationship between heart rate and breath. While slow, steady breathing can calm the heart, it also provides insight into the body's state.
As you focus on slow, relaxed breaths, begin to notice your heartbeat. The goal is not to match the number of breaths to your heartbeats but to use your heartbeat as a guide, like a metronome, to establish a harmonious rhythm. By aligning your breathing with this natural pace, you gain a deeper understanding of your body.
Meditation in this form becomes a tool to decode the signals your body sends. A rapid heartbeat might indicate emotional discomfort, while a slow one suggests relaxation. Incorporating this practice into your routine can help you identify and address the sources of stress that influence your heart rate.
Meditation for Busy Families
Teaching meditation to young children can be challenging. Their reactive nature makes it difficult for them to grasp the concept. However, you can introduce calming practices in simple ways.
For instance, when putting children to bed, demonstrate slow, audible breathing. Encourage them to find their own rhythm by placing your hand on their chest and patting gently in sync with their heartbeat. If patting feels disruptive, you can trace circles on their chest, with each circle proportional to a few heartbeats. This practice not only soothes them, but also helps them settle into a natural breathing pattern.
For infants, this approach focuses on physical contact rather than breathing, using heartbeat-guided pats to instill a sense of calm.
Conclusion
Meditation is not about achieving a mythical state or attaining spiritual ascension. For most people, it serves a more practical purpose, relaxation and self-awareness. By focusing on something tangible, such as your breath or heartbeat, you can redirect your mind away from distractions and stress. Whether for adults or children, meditation offers a pathway to greater mental clarity and emotional balance.
Simplifying meditation allows more people to benefit from it. It need not be a complex ritual, but rather an accessible practice to help us navigate life’s demands with greater ease.
Disclaimer: The information provided here is a personal interpretation for ease of understanding and may not align fully with traditional explanations. For specific health concerns, please consult your physician or a qualified health professional.
Reference
1. “MEDITATION | Meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary.” Dictionary.cambridge.org, dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/meditation.
2. NHS. “Breathing Exercises for Stress.” Nhs.uk, NHS, 2 Feb. 2021, www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/breathing-exercises-for-stress/.
3. Cronkleton, Emily. “10 Breathing Exercises to Try: For Stress, Training & Lung Capacity.” Healthline, 9 Apr. 2019, www.healthline.com/health/breathing-exercise#belly-breathing.
4. Wallin, B. G., et al. “Relationship between Breathing and Cardiovascular Function at Rest: Sex-Related Differences.” Acta Physiologica, vol. 200, no. 2, 25 Mar. 2010, pp. 193–200, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1748-1716.2010.02126.x.
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